The Gettysberg Adress: Then and Know

 

 

Long ago our fathers and mothers brought about this nation. (IC) Dedicated to the new found proposition, that all men and women are created equal. (CX)

In the past, our nation fought in many wars testing whether it could long endure the possible outcome of being a strong society .(IC) Many people died fighting for our country. (IC) It is in our best interest to honor those brave souls and complete their unfinished work. (IC)

In honor of those brave souls. (IC) We as a whole  cannot make these lands private, but we can use the blueprint our ancestors made and create a solid society. (IC) A society that isn’t simply based off the color of your skin color , the amount displayed on your check, or your sexual orientation. (CD)  But more importantly based off the hard work you put forth on this continent and your dedication to the improvement of our country. (CD) As a society we have improved, but that doesn’t mean there is not more work to be done. (CD) Constantly minorities are reminded that they are minorities. (CX-CD) Every now and again you run into a racist person that isn’t afraid to show, that they are racist.(CD) We as a society have come a long way, but there is still a long way to go. (CD)

As of know as a country dedicated to complete this task put forth by our ancestors. (IC) So the people that come after us don’t have to be conscious of their skin color and, as if they do not belong. (CD) We as a country owe this to our fallen fathers and mothers. (IC)

 

 

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One Response to “The Gettysberg Adress: Then and Know”

  1. Mr. Clements
    Mr. Clements
    May 7, 2014 at 8:41 am #

    Total: 6/10

    Metadata: 5/5

    Quality: 1/5 (unnecessary comma and a sent frag: Dedicated to the new found proposition, that all men and women are created equal.)(This is a CX: In the past, our nation fought in many wars testing whether it could long endure the possible outcome of being a strong society .(IC))(this is a sentence fragment: A society that isn’t simply based off the color of your skin color , the amount displayed on your check, or your sexual orientation. (CD) )(grammatically, this is a fragment and not a CD: But more importantly based off the hard work you put forth on this continent and your dedication to the improvement of our country. (CD))(this is just a CX, not a CD-CX; also missing the comma after the intro element [adverb in this case]: Constantly minorities are reminded that they are minorities. (CX-CD) )

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